I received the Real Festivus as a father’s day present and read through it in an afternoon. I’m surprised I didn’t come across it sooner, not only because of how much I love Seinfeld, but due to my deep fasciation with the holiday’s origins ever since viewing the Inside Look feature for the episode the Strike, which revealed that Festivus wasn’t a whole cloth invention of television writers, but an actual holiday celebrated by the father of one of the writers on staff. The halting, slightly shell-shocked way he recalled the holiday was intriguing, and hinted at a history more complex than the show let on.
What surprised me about Festivus the actual holiday was thus less what it didn’t have in common with the Seinfeld version—I already knew the aluminum pole was an invention of the other writers, as was, sadly and mercifully, the Feats of Strength—but what it did. Most notably, the tape player with which Frank reminds George of Festivi (the accepted plural) past was apparently a central part of the actual holiday. Indeed, much of Dan’s recollection is enhanced by these tapes, which cover all but a couple fo lost years of the holiday’s two decades of celebration.
The book is slim, and not without filler (there is an entire page near the beginning describing animals that include “festivus” in their latin name, as well as a box presenting details of the Ford Festiva, which was not related to the holiday and may not have even belonged to the family at any point), but I can see why O’Keefe would feel obligated to give a bit of value-added material, and the sidebars are funny if not wholyl relevant. There is also an earnest effort to capture all aspects of the peculiar holiday, including several of his mother’s recipes, which are presented in text form without any jokes.
The second half of the book is simply transcripts from some of the recordings, and it is here that the true, bizarre nature of Festivus reveals itself. Up to this point, we have only O’Keefe’s recollections, which cannot due justice to the surreal exchanges found on the tapes. I can only assume the transcripts are real, and if so, they’re spectacular.
Among much else, they show that Daniel O’Keefe Sr., for all his eccentricity, was not very much like Frank Costanza. Though I believe he took his holiday seriously, he brims with bon mots, cheezy jokes, strange skits, and other tangents that display a robust sense of humour. Frank Costanza, though among the funniest characters to ever to grace a television screen, is as a person utterly humourless: he never laughs, or jokes, or even smiles accept with a sort of grim smirk betraying more triumph than actual joy. O’Keefe senior is also a highly educated and accomplished academic, with a well-regarded book to his credit—not quite the model of a former army cook and travelling salesman with an aversion to removing his shoes.
While O’Keefe claims—honestly, I think—to be embarrassed and a bit horrified by Festivus, it’s clear that he was also playing along a lot at times, and the family shared a close bond, probably as much because as in spite of its quirks. The O’Keefes seem like the sort of characters Salinger would write about while he was off his head on peyote. They are Franzen mixed with Family Guy. In short, these are people I’d like to know, if not live with.
I would recommend this book to Seinfeld devotees, but it actually goes a lot deeper than just a fan-service add-on. On its own, it’s a fascinating and funny insight into the lives of a very strange family.